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warnings: dark. ZERO system Quatre.
author's notes: "Disassociative" is by Marilyn Manson and can be found on the "Mechanical Animals" album.
( words )=song lyrics.
(I can tell you what they say in space, that our Earth is too grey)
How can the people from the colonies say that about earth, the earth is so beautiful? If only they could see the true beauty in it, then they would realize that it holds so much life and colored sunsets compared to this empty vastness of space. I would fight all out; heart and soul just to keep earth in her rare beauty. I will make the colonies pay dearly for accepting Oz and their weapons into the colonies. We were doing so well without the use of all these armaments.
(But when the spirit is so digital the body acts this way)
It's hard to say really who my friends are. I see Trowa and Heero in front of me but are they my enemies or allies? Either way I must destroy those that get in my way. I must make my message clear to the colonies. Make them learn their lesson for taking in Oz. I feel strange, like I have no control over my thoughts and body. What is happening to me?
(That world was killing me
World was killing me
Disassociative)
Was father right? Was I foolish for going against his word by piloting Sandrock? If father could only have understood that I'm fighting for the same purpose he fought for but in my own way. No, he's the foolish one and look where father is now. I will not end up like him. I will prove myself better than what he was and what he believed in. All of this madness is eating away at my soul, at my whole being as a human. Why can't I feel anything, no remorse, no sadness, no fear, no...nothing?
(The nervous systems down
The nervous systems down
I know)
What is this strange feeling coming over me? My whole body and mind is screaming for release, to let this horrible nightmare end. I don't want to kill my comrades but if they keep me from my mission then I must do so. I feel like I'm two different people, both fighting to gain control over my mind. What in god's name is wrong with this gundam?
**thinks to self**
Please Heero and Trowa,
leave me to my duty, the last
thing I want to do is kill you guys. Don't they know
that I WILL kill them or do they really want to die?
(I can never get
out of here
I don't want to just float in fear
A dead astronaut in space)
**Flashback**
"Damn it Heero, let me go after Trowa, I can't let him
die like that."
"No Quatre you're staying right here, if anything, you will learn something from Trowa's death since you're the one that killed him and if I have to do so, I will kill you myself."
"No, No don't say that Heero, Trowa can't be dead, I just know it."
**sits in the cockpit shaking recalling seeing Trowa's
body floating in space**
I just know you're not dead Trowa, I never meant to hurt
you or any of the other Gundam pilots. What did I do
wrong to be going through all this hell?
(Sometimes we walk like we were shot through our heads, my love)
I feel so empty and cold, I feel like I can no longer hear what my Space Heart is trying to tell me. I no longer have any sanity left, it's like it was erased from my mind. I want to be the kindhearted Quatre that I used to be just like what Trowa wanted. I know I can be that same person if I could only just get out of this madness.
(We write our song in space like we are already dead and gone)
We fight these battles until our deaths but nobody seems to care that we are fighting not only for peace but also for our mere existence in this world. If it takes me to destroy these colonies so we will be heard than so it shall be done.
(Your world was killing me
Your world was killing me
Disassociative)