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PAIRINGS: 2x1
WARNINGS: Yaoi, lemon, language, angst.
DISCLAIMERS: I don't own GW. "Ringfinger" can be found on the "Pretty Hate Machine" album and is by Nine Inch Nails, whom I also do not own. (DAMMIT!)
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is my first ever Heero & Duo story. The pairing is not normally my favorite... ::legions of GW Yaoi fans either drop dead in shock or pick up axes and start searching for jiyurii's head::...but this one just jumped up & bit me.
~well you've got me working so hard lately~
I gaze into the beautiful blue eyes beneath me as I ruffle already tousled brown hair into further dishevelment. They smile up at me, urging me forward, and so I begin, making a special effort to keep my own eyes open so I can watch his reactions. Soon I am falling into pools of royal blue, smelling nothing but our mingled sweat, hearing nothing but our moans of pleasure, feeling nothing but YES!
~working my hands until they bleed~
He slides warm, callused hands up my body to the nape of my neck, grasping double handfuls of my hair as if he would pull it out, and the myriad sensations bring me to climax. I throw my head back, moaning his name as I spill my hot seed into him.
As I descend from the height, I notice that I have been clenching my fists, hard enough to leave bloody crescents in my palms.
~if i was twice the man i could be
i'd still be half of what you need~
Somehow, amazingly, my climax has not triggered his; he still writhes beneath me, wordlessly pleading for release.
Never one to wait, his strong hands, still entangled in my hair, pull me down until my mouth hovers over his quivering erection. Those incredibly blue eyes beckon silently, and the luscious mouth forms one word: "Please."
And I acquiesce. How can I refuse?
~still you lead me and i follow
anything you ask you know i'll do~
I flick my tongue over him, teasing, savoring his taste. He is not up to this tonight, however; he tows me up to the head, relinquishes one handful of hair long enough to guide his dick to my mouth, and forces me down. I open my mouth wider in acceptance, taking in the full length of him. Guided by his hands on my head, I begin a quick rhythm which I know will bring him to orgasm within minutes, and he does not disappoint me. His hot, salty semen fills my mouth, and I obediently swallow every drop. He loves it when I do that.
When he's done, I bounce upright, licking my lips, and fall into place beside him for cuddle-time.
But I'm nervous--nervous like a kid on a first date, even though I've done this--oh, God knows how many times before.
I tense up, and he knows what I will ask, just as I know what he will answer.
~but this one act of consecration is what i ask of you~
"Heero...will you marry me?"
~ringfinger
promise carved in stone
deeper than the sea
ringfinger
sever flesh and bone
and offer it to me~
Heero closes his eyes, sighs, and says nothing.
I know from long experience that this means no.
~you just leave me nailed here
hanging like jesus on this cross~
It still hurts, though, and I begin to weep quietly, just like every time. He doesn't look at me, doesn't even touch me...just lies there, like I've hit him with some shocking news, like he hasn't heard this a hundred times before. Sometimes I feel he wants to say something, anything, when I ask him the question. I wish he would--whether he tells me "yes" or "no" or "go fuck yourself"...I just want him to talk to me.
~i'll be dying for your sins
and aiding to the cause~
I know what he's thinking, of course--we've been together too long for me not to know that. He's thinking about a little girl, dead by his hand, and about the kindness she showed him. He's thinking he doesn't deserve my kind of kindness, that maybe if I'm this nice to him I'll die too. I could deal with that. But he's also thinking about another girl, one not so little, whose love he couldn't return, whose heart he broke. She asked him this same question long ago, and he walked away from her straight into my arms. She showed him kindness too, in her way, and he spurned it in order to be with a man. He's thinking that maybe what we're doing isn't quite natural. Maybe he's thinking he doesn't love me. Maybe he's thinking about leaving.
Maybe he'll say yes this time.
I just wish he would look at me.
~ringfinger
promise carved in stone
deeper than the sea
ringfinger
sever flesh and bone
and offer it to me~
In a voice so small and tear-choked I barely recognize it as mine, I whisper, "Why?"
~wrap my eyes in bandages~
He finally looks at me, his eyes as cold and dead as always, and still says nothing.
"Please, Heero." I can feel it; I'm going to beg now. I'd hoped it wouldn't come down to this. "I don't care what you say, say anything, just please say something!" The tears are coming harder now, and I can barely see him.
~confessions i see through~
He finally speaks. "I...just don't think it's the right time."
"Fuck that!" I shout. "That's bullshit and you know it! You just don't love me! What the fuck are you fucking me for if you don't love me?" My voice breaks on the word "love"; sobs are wringing my voice, making me sound too pathetic. I want to be stronger. I want to be able to mask my emotions, to overcome them, to take the upper hand.
I wish I were Heero.
He's still looking at me. Are his eyes softening, or is that just my tears? I don't know. I don't really care anymore.
He speaks again, his voice hoarse with threatened tears.
"I...I just..."
He sits up suddenly and grabs my shoulders, yanking me to him. Just before he pulls me in for a rough kiss, he whispers, "I do love you, Duo."
~i get everything i want
when i get part of you~
And he does--I can feel it in the tender desperation of the kiss, in the way he holds me so protectively. He loves me, in his way. I just wish I knew what way that is.
For now, though, I relax into his embrace, letting him take over, letting him take me.
~ringfinger
promise carved in stone
deeper than the sea
ringfinger
sever flesh and bone
and offer it to me~
After, tired from his exertion and his unusual display of emotion, Heero falls asleep almost immediately. I lie beside him, wanting so much to wake him and ask again in the hopes that he will finally say yes, knowing that he won't.
I just don't know if I have the patience to wait for him to ask me.
So I gaze into his sleeping face and whisper, "Will you marry me, Heero?"
Nothing happens, as expected...but did his arm just tighten around me?
I lie down again. I give up. I don't know what else to do but wait...not one of my strong suits, but I have to try.
~ringfinger
promise carved in stone
deeper than the sea~
But as I drift off to sleep, I hear Heero emit a low sigh that almost sounds like a drawn-out "Aa".
I smile, snuggle closer, and fall asleep in his warmth.
~ringfinger
devil's flesh and bone
do something for me~