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A couple walked happily in the bright April sunshine, a smallish, thin boy sporting a long chestnut braid, and a small, timid girl whose honey-blonde locks reflected the light, almost giving her the appearance of a halo. Seemingly oblivious of the crowd they had to push through in order to stay on the sidewalk, they chatted and laughed like old friends. The thin boy stole occasional glances at the girl, thinking dreamily to himself that the sun on her hair made her look like an angel.
And on the oily floor in a dimly lit garage, a wiry boy with a shock of dark brown hair slept fitfully, remembering his own angel in his dreams.
A small boy, deceptively frail, with unruly hair and eyes too old for his eleven years sneaks out of the cramped apartments he shares with his guardian and teacher on the L1 space colony. He is in the process of having any emotion which might hinder him in a battle drained out of him, but for the time being, he still retains his childlike curiosity. He almost never gets to see anything outside of Dr. J's apartments, and at such a young age, the mysteries of the L1 colony still intrigue him. His favorite thing to do is to get lost in the colony and find his way back home; besides honing his sense of direction, it's just fun. He walks around for nearly an hour, and eventually wanders into a part of the colony he's never seen before; he's an awfully long way from home and he's starting to get worried. He finds himself standing outside what appears to be a warriors' training camp; he knows he shouldn't be here, so he stays outside the tall fence, ready to bolt at the first sign of discovery. But the first glimpse of two Asian men, clad in loose-fitting uniforms, slashing at each other with katana within a circle drawn in the imported sand decides things; he will stay and watch. The men have reflexes faster than anyone the boy had ever seen, in simulations or real life. They thrust and parry for nearly four minutes; finally one man takes the upper hand and, in a skillful display of swordsmanship, disarms his opponent and forces him to the ground, sword to his throat. There are a few other warriors observing them from the porch of a simple, traditional rice paper house; at the conclusion of the match, they nod in approval and some applaud. An older man stands and beckons the losing warrior; two young maidens take him into the house, possibly to tend his many scratches. The winner remains in the yard, looking expectantly toward the house. The older man points toward the back of the porch, and summons in a deep, resonant voice, "Hinode Mieko-chan!"
A girl, obviously younger than her peers on the porch, stands up with a soft "Hai, Sensee." The man motions for her to take her place in the circle. She steps forward, confidently, and walks into the circle, bowing to her opponent. She looks around her, getting a feel for the surroundings, and ever so briefly glances at the fence where the boy is kneeling, staring at her in awe. She acknowledges him with a nod and a look which goes straight to the boy's hormones, just beginning to awaken. He can make no reply, except to finally close his mouth.
~she shines
in a world full of ugliness~
She looks about thirteen, a girl on the verge of womanhood, with budding breasts barely visible beneath the cotton uniform, and long black hair secured in a shining braid which reaches nearly to her hips. She has a perfect oval face, from which glint jet-black almond-shaped eyes which betray no fear, no remorse, no emotion at all. She is small, like others of her ethnicity and like the boy himself, yet the extraordinary aura of confidence radiating from her deceptively fragile body makes her seem taller. She stands like a child-goddess, facing her opponent with the simulated afternoon sun giving reddish highlights to her hair.
At the master's signal, the girl (Mieko, her name is Mieko) draws her sword and drops into a fighting stance; her opponent does the same. Their sensei gestures, and a little boy (an apprentice, perhaps?) bangs a gong to begin the match. Mieko moves like lightning, under and through her opponent's defenses, and the match is over almost before it begins; her opponent's sword, along with the opponent himself, lies on the ground with Mieko's sword at his throat. Awe-filled gasps and appreciative applause erupt from the onlookers, and from the boy at the fence, but Mieko's cold black eyes show no pride in her win. She only turns to face her sensee, bows deeply, and says in soft, feminine Japanese, "Gomen nasai, Sensee."
The older man looked at her quizzically. "Nani?"
In her winningly feminine voice, she said with lowered eyes, "I did not win quickly enough. I will try to do better."
The puzzled man stared at her for a moment and then waved his hand dismissively. "Very well. Prepare for your challenger."
~she matters
when everything is meaningless~
The boy watches Mieko fight until almost dusk, when, tired and slightly bloody, she is bested by a teenage boy much bigger and fresher than she, and the matches are ended for the day. The other students go into the house to rest and take supper; Mieko stays in the yard for a while, staring into the sky where the first simulated stars are emerging. Finally, she goes inside as well.
For the boy at the fence, the sun never really goes down until she leaves his sight.
Even though he gets in big trouble with Dr. J for having been out so late, he comes back the next day and every day after, just for a glimpse of her face. Often this is all he receives, since the students do not have outdoor exercises every day. It does not matter; he lives for the times he sees her, and when he does not see her he does not consider himself truly alive. He never dares let himself believe that he will actually ever hear her speak to him. Of course, this is just what happens after he has been watching her for almost two weeks.
~fragile
she doesn't see her beauty~
The students of what the boy had learned to be the Michiyo dojo have outdoor exercises that day, and he had been rapturously watching Mieko defeat a staggering number of opponents. She is clearly the best student in the dojo.
Only fitting for such a perfect being...
A few boys walk around from the back of the house, carrying very large assault rifles; naturally, these divert the boy's attention for a moment. But suddenly, his view is blocked by a pair of feet, clad in light slippers, to which are attached a pair of shapely, muscular legs, which are partially obscured by the dirty hem of a once-snow white uniform.
k'so!
The owner of the shapely legs kneels to face him, and twin chips of onyx bore deep into the boy's Prussian eyes. "Who are you?" says Mieko.
Breathe, Heero, breathe "I--you can call me Heero Yuy."
"Why do you watch me every day, Heero-chan?"
He does not know exactly how to reply; he only speaks to Dr. J, and Dr. J is most definitely not a pretty girl. The only way he knows to live is by acting on what he feels; so, he says what he feels.
"I--I watch you because-I think you are-you are kiree!" And she is, with her perfect face, framed by stray wisps of midnight hair which have escaped from her braid during her matches, slightly flushed from exertion, cherry-tinted lips parted to reveal gleaming white teeth, and eyes even darker than her hair, ringed by thick lashes.
"You must not speak so," says Mieko in that barely audible yet powerfully feminine voice, a slight smile on her lips but no trace of emotion in her eyes. "I am not pretty; I do not exist to be pretty. I exist to fight, and to serve my sensee. Beauty is irrelevant."
~she tries to get away~
"D-do you really like fighting, Mieko-san?"
Mieko keeps her eyes lowered. "It does not matter what I like. It is only my duty, and a warrior must do her duty. Especially when that warrior is training to become samurai."
The boy is taken aback. "A girl samurai?"
"Yes, there are such things," says Mieko, and now there is a hint of suppressed laughter in her voice. For the first time the child at the fence notices that on the girl's chest is an insignia bearing a single red circle, the ancient symbol of what is now Earth's JAP sector. "Even in very ancient times, our people allowed female samurai. There has not been one for a very long time. I hope to become one someday."
"What must a samurai do, Mieko-san?"
"A samurai must do her duty. She serves a lord, and is ready to lay down her life for him at all times. She defends his honor and her own, and if she does her duty well, she is rewarded by much honor and praise from her lord."
"And if she fails?"
Mieko looks him in the eyes now. "She must not fail."
"But if she does?"
"She must take her own life."
The boy stares at her, forgetting what few manners Dr. J has taught him. "That's awful! I mean--if I am ordered to do so, I must self-destruct as well--but you are a girl! You should not have to do such things!"
Mieko is familiar with the things which fascinate very young boys after living with so many of them in the dojo. "What is worse is the way I would have to do it." She leans closer to the fence, as if she is telling a secret. "I must cut open my belly."
The boy starts, a mixture of disgust and intrigue on his face. "Nani?! Eeewww, sick! You have to do it yourself?"
"Yes, and someone must stand behind me and cut off my head!"
The boy bursts into a fit of giggles, at once disgusted and delighted at the sheer violence of a samurai's death. Mieko permits herself a quiet laugh, amused at his childishness, and waits for the boy to calm down. When he does, he puffs out his scrawny chest and states pompously, "You know, I am a warrior too."
"Really?"
"Yes...but I think it would be better to be samurai. How does one become one?"
Mieko smiled, and said, "Why don't you come inside, and I will show you the life of samurai."
Heero beamed, and let her lead the way.
~sometimes
it's just that nothing seems worth saving
i can't watch her slip away~
Heero comes to the dojo often, watching Mieko train and occasionally participating in a few exercises with her. It is sheer heaven for the long-neglected boy. At first Dr. J is skeptical, but when he sees that Heero is receiving training and having fun at the same time, he allows the boy to visit at least twice a week.
He can always drain the kid again.
Months pass, and Heero and Mieko become fast friends. At least, Heero thinks they are friends; Mieko maintains her emotional impassiveness, never allowing Heero to get close. Heero respects her wishes, accepting her coldness as a part of her samurai training; there is nothing else in his life worth as much to him as Mieko, excepting Dr. J, and even though she keeps him at a respectful distance, Heero vows to make her love him someday.
~i won't let you fall apart~
One day Heero visits the dojo to find Mieko kneeling in a corner of the backyard exercise grounds, crying softly to herself. He is afraid to approach, knowing how she likes to keep her emotions to herself. But the utterly feminine sound utterly captivates him. He goes to her, kneels beside her, and takes her in his too-thin arms, not asking why she's crying, not saying a word, and she leans into his embrace, sobbing all the harder. They sit this way for a long time, and the false sun sets on their private moment. Heero swears once again to break her warrior's façade, make her love him, and convince her to let him take her away from this life which threatened to utterly destroy them both. Away to the land of their ancestors.
Away to Earth...
Heero awakens to the sound of Quatre's voice, still high-pitched at nineteen. "Heero! Dinner is served!"
Hn...what time is it He looked at his chronometer. Seven! K'so!
Quatre entered the garage. "Heero, are you still in there?"
"Yes, I must have fallen asleep on the floor," said Heero groggily, massaging his sore neck. "Where's that braided baka? He's usually the first one to announce dinner."
Quatre looked down at his fine handmade shoes and sheepishly said in a very small voice, "He and Relena haven't come back yet."
~she reads the minds of all the people as they pass her by hoping someone can see~
"And-and then, little Johnny says--hee hee--'no, Teach, I'm talkin' about a rat with a dick this fuckin' big!"
Relena once again collapsed with laughter, nearly falling to her knees in the waning sunlight. Duo had been telling her dirty jokes for almost an hour. They were horrible and they made her blush and they contained the most awful words. She was sure that the passersby thought her insane. She hoped they didn't notice. She wanted them to see her. She wanted Duo to stop. She didn't want him to ever stop. "Duo, please! You're killing me!"
"Yeah, but what a way to go, huh?" giggled Duo, tickled by his own hilarity.
Something about this struck Relena as funny, and she collapsed once more, laughing so hard that her ribs, still freshly bruised, began to ache. She began to cough, staggered, and would have fallen had Duo not been there to catch her and hold her up until the spell passed. "You okay there, Princess?"
~if i could fix myself i'd -
but it's too late for me~
She was still for a moment, getting her breath back. Duo was afraid he'd said the wrong thing. "Relena?"
She looked up at him. "Why'd you call me that?"
Duo thought for a moment. Why had he called her that? "Well...I mean, you were the Queen of the World. But I just always liked "princess" more than "queen", you know? It just sounds more magical." He tilted her chin up, so he could see her better. "It suits you."
She tried to look down again, but Duo still had her chin in his hand, and he intended to keep those lovely blue eyes where he could see them.
In a very small voice, she said, "That was a long time ago...I gave that life up. To be with Heero."
~i won't let you fall apart~
They looked into each other's eyes for a long moment. Relena was the first to blink. "We'd better be getting back--the servants will be bringing dinner, and you know how Quatre hates for anyone to miss it."
"Also, Hee-chan must be worried just sick," Duo remarked.
"Don't forget, you promised you wouldn't say anything! I'm holding you to that!" The pleading look in her eyes hurt him in a new way. Why can't she just let me get rid of him?
"I swear on Deathscythe's grave that I won't touch him unless something else happens. If it does, I can't be held responsible for the incredible beating he gets."
Relena sighed and took his hand. "I guess that's all I can expect. Let's go home." They turned to go--and found themselves at the end of Quatre's sidewalk. They looked at each other, and then began to laugh again.
"I guess we were having so much fun, we didn't even notice where we were!" said Relena.
"Yep, guess so," chuckled Duo. He tugged on her hand, and they made their way up the walk, both their heads full of ominous thoughts; Relena worried about what would happen if Heero had seen Duo holding her hand, and Duo hoped Heero had seen him touching Relena's face. He had been far too long without a good fight, and the day's revelations had made him want to shoot Heero again, with better aim this time.
~we'll find the perfect place to go where we can run and hide
i'll build a wall and we can keep them on the other side
...but they keep waiting...
...and picking...~
Duo stopped her again at the doorstep. "Relena?"
"Yes, Duo?"
"Let's do this again sometime. I...I really like being with you."
Relena looked up at him. "What about Dorothy?"
Duo smacked himself on the head. Dorothy! They were supposed to go out tonight--in fact, they were supposed to have left for the club an hour ago. "Oh boy...well, there's something you have to understand about Dorothy...you see, she's...ummm..."
"Insane?" Relena suggested.
"No, no, not insane. I think," said Duo, laughing again. "Although she is a bit...eccentric. No, the thing about Dorothy is that when I picked her, I did it for the same reason I pick any of the girls I go out with--"
"Knockout bod?" Relena suggested again.
Duo facevaulted. "Jesus, you're making this hard! But yes, the bod did have something to do with it. She's just--you're just--" He looked down at her and took her hands. "You're different from them somehow. You're...a lady, I guess. I haven't known many ladies since I was little. Haven't been interested in knowing any for about that long. But I guess I'm growing up now--"
"Duo, you shouldn't be saying these things," whispered Relena, looking toward the windows. "I'm taken."
Duo gave a little snort. Relena couldn't tell whether it was in amusement or disgust. "Yeah. You're taken."
~it's something i have to do
i was there, too
before everything else
i was like you~
He turned to go inside. Relena stopped him with a hand on the shoulder. "Look, Duo. I've loved Heero ever since I first saw him. Every waking moment I've spent since then, I've spent in trying to make him love me. And now that he's finally showing me some attention, I intend to do everything in my power to make this work."
"Even let him beat you? Relena, that's so out of bounds. That's not love. I mean, I've been in bad relationships before, and I can tell you, this kind of thing doesn't just stop."
Relena studied her feet. "I'm sure this is just a phase. I have to work that much harder to find out what's really wrong, and try to help him work it out with himself."
Duo just stared at her. Finally he shrugged her hand off his shoulder. "Fine. Let's go in, I'm starving."
"Please don't be mad at me, Duo--this is something I have to do, and I need a friend so badly. A real friend, not like those suckups who used to hang around me at the school."
Duo tilted her chin up again. "Well, you have one. Just keep me posted, okay? Don't let him hurt you anymore."
"I'm sure the worst is over now," said Relena. Duo knew she was lying. "Come on."
They opened the door on Heero's steely face.
"Do you know what time it is?" He moved toward Relena. She cringed, and Duo got ready to move.
Heero grabbed her by the arms, pulled her close--and kissed her gently on the tip of her nose. "It's after seven! I was getting worried!" he said, disengaging, with a slight smile on his normally impassive face. Duo, nearly forgetting his vow of silence, could only stand there with his mouth open. Relena was staring up at Heero with a look in her eyes that Duo could only register as unadulterated hero-worship. Heero-worship, he silently corrected himself.
Heero turned to look at Duo then. His voice was almost jovial, but there was nothing in his eyes. "Come on, baka. Your dinner is getting cold."
Duo stared back, trying to stay as unemotional as Heero. "I, uh, don't think I'm too hungry. I'm taking Dorothy out soon. We'll probably grab a bite."
Was that regret Duo saw on Relena's face? He fervently hoped it was. He could see nothing on Heero's face.
"I'll make your excuses to Quatre, then."
"Thanks, man," muttered Duo as he shouldered past the couple and made for his apartments upstairs.
"Sayonara." Relena and Heero spoke in tandem. Heero looked down at her, and protectively reached an arm around her waist. "Let's go, koishii."
"Yes, Heero." Relena was feeling much better. Heero seemed to be back to his old self, gentle and kind to the utmost.
She didn't see the way his eyes began to void themselves of emotion when she began to tell him about her day.
Better watch it, 'Shinigami'. Keep interfering with what's mine, and no god will be able to save you.